Most conflicts don't start because someone said something wrong — they start because the need underneath never got named. "You never make time for me" is a complaint. "I feel disconnected — I need us to have one evening together this week" is a need. The difference changes everything.
LOVES gives you a formula: When [situation] — I feel [emotion] — because I need [need]. One sentence. No blame. A specific ask.
Before you keep reading — think of something you've been needing to say. What is the emotion underneath it?
Built exactly for this question:
Before you move on — what's one thing that's true for you right now?
"You are not asking for too much. You just haven't had the language yet. Now you do."
Every question, eventually, leads here.
Read the Water-Bearer's Journey →