Anger is often a secondary emotion — the one that arrives to protect the vulnerable one underneath. Hurt feels exposed. Anger feels powerful. So the nervous system reaches for anger first, even when hurt is the truth.
The problem is that anger pushes people away — which creates the opposite of what you actually need. Naming the hurt directly is both braver and more effective.
Before you keep reading — underneath your last moment of anger, what was the hurt that was there first?
Built exactly for this question:
Before you move on — what's one thing that's true for you right now?
"Anger is the guard at the door of your hurt. When you learn to speak the hurt directly, you no longer need the guard."
Every question, eventually, leads here.
Read the Water-Bearer's Journey →